Asgarth the Invincible: Chapter XIII

Agarth led his warband and his train of Swadian slaves deep into the lands of the Nords, high up a steep pass at the head of which, like a crown of stone upon a mountainous head of rock, towered Castle Hrus, stronghold of Jarl Harald and home to his beloved Lady Kaeteli.

“She isn’t interested,” shouted the guard when they arrived. “Clear off.”


“This is bullshit,” yelled Asgarth in return, and decided to retain his dignity and ride away. Yet the great warrior was not downcast in his heart. Perhaps a dozen Swadian slaves were not enough to impress so refined a lady, he mused. Therefore I shall bring her two dozen.

He rode to the east for many days until he came upon a different stretch of the Swadian borderlands overlooking the village of Ryibelet. “Behold!” he breathed to his men. “Let us ride forth upon the Swadian foe, and slaughter him, and hear the lamentation of his women, which is surely the finest of musical forms which can please the ears of the valiant!”

Thus they charged and pillaged the village, and were doing quite well when one of Asgarth’s men announced, “Alas, I see Count Deglan of Swadia beriding unto us, with approximately 115 men-at-arms!”

“Bollocks,” cursed Asgarth, whose warband at this point still numbered a mere twenty or so. “You there,” he ordered, pointing at ten of his men, “you stay and hold them off. The rest follow me!”


As half his warband prepared to surrender their lives in a valiant attempt to save their lord, Asgarth led a no less valiant retreat from the village. “This is bullshit,” he complained as he galloped over the hills with the remainder of his warband, his mind burning with the icy sensation of shame. Now he had no prisoners at all. He would never win his fair maiden at this rate.