Asgarth the Invincible: Chapter XVI

“This is bullshit,” uttered Asgarth as he gazed across the flaccid deserts of the south. They had seen neither man nor beast except camels for two days as they trekked across the seemingly endless expanses of sand, like a massive beach or an ocean without the water, that lay between the cities and villages of the Sarranid Sultanate. Their food had run out and they had no liquid sustenance.

“I’m hungry,” whined Rolf. He was a supposed hero whom Asgarth had found in a tavern and hired before leaving Sargoth. The first thing Rolf had done was ask to borrow 300 denars to buy back an heirloom he’d pawned, but he probably just spent it on drink and gambling, which was bullshit.

“Shut up!” cried Asgarth, spinning around on his saddle, his rippling torso gleaming in the shimmering heat of the midday sun, in order to face in Rolf’s direction. “Look, there’s a castle on the next dune!”


They rode to the castle but nobody was home except a few guards who ignored Asgarth, so they left again. Next they came to a remote village which was being plagued by bandits. Asgarth heroically offered to defeat the bandits for them, which he did, and then rather less heroically demanded that the villagers give him all their food and chattels or he would burn their houses.

As they rode away from the village back into the desert, their bags weighed down with precious booty, Asgarth addressed his warband. “This is bullshit,” he remarked. “Let’s go somewhere else to seek my fortune.”

Thus did the hero take his leave of the Sarranid lands.